CAN'T ASK AND CAN'T ACT WITHOUT BEING ASKED Carl Sagan has said that some paradoxes aren't worth thinking about. The example he gives is "What happens when an immoveable force meets an irresistable object?" His 'answer' is that if the one exists, the other cannot. So the problem is only a verbal one. On that basis, thinking about it is a waste of time and energy. But what about the conflicts and dissatisfactions caused by paradoxes that have been artificially introduced into societies by societies? Men are taught to ask. Women are taught to say no and to never volunteer, even if asked. Women are taught not to ask. Men don't need to be taught to say yes--unless they have been taught to ask. Consider this: what happens when a person who 'can't ask someone to act' meets up with a person who can 'only act after being asked'? Apply that to sexuality. In line with my training, I can't ask for sex and--without realizing it--I pair off with someone who will give sex, but, in line with their training, they'll do it only if asked. They can't offer it. One will volunteer. but only if asked. The other can't ask. How much sex will either of them get? How can they get around this impasse? There may be some naturally occuring examples of these two types of people, but mostly they are not born but created by society. Why? To reduce sexuality by creating more roadblocks between desire and fulfillment. There's an old saying (which I invented): 'If you have to ask, you might as well ask anyone.'

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